Grab 'em by the Pussy? Kick him in the Dick!

See what hurts most, silly words or THIS:

Hello, my name Trump. I am a Loser

Actually, I am the Biggest Loser in the world. Thak-ya-so-match, I kiss you.
But beware, I have the Chinese flu. I don't know why that is possible. So don't wear a mask, and join my Biggest Success.
Was very good for me, so I call it GoFit-19.

My name is Trump, Donald Trump. Code name 000

00 stands for Licensed to do Anything, the last 0 stands for Nothing or Nobody, which is a very good name for me. My Name Nobody is my favorite movie film.
Actually my name Donald J. Trump. I forgot what J. stands for, but I am from 'U' S of A, so must have a middle name.
People say Joker, or Jerk, or Jew. I like Jew, because they are the best business men. One day, when I stop living of money I steal from other people, I want to become a real business men myself too.

I was Pressedent once

When my nose was running for presedent, I said: "The world is laughing at us". That was my first lie. Many to follow...
Then I said Mexico will pay for some small fence repair. Nice yoke…
I worked very hard for four years, and I succeeded: Now I can say: "The world no longer takes us serious".
Biggest achievement in politricks ever, all other presidents were stupid.
Unbelievable that some have their heads carved in rocks. I Rushed More executive orders than any of them.

Sorry fur speling messtakes. I write with my dick, because my fingers are too thick for phony keyboard. (Ask ms. Daniels, she knows. Expensive, but good, I recommend).

I did not get Popular Vote

This means that most people don't like me.
But I go to court, and play hangman game with everybody.

The government gave me 2 Peaches

That is so good. I am the only president who got 2 peaches!
Good job, respect for me! Actually I wanted 3 Peaches, for Big Jackpot. You know, like casino I once had, near the ocean. I lost there too, never mind.

I don't pay taxes

If you pay taxes, you are a loser. I am a loser, so I don't pay taxes.
I never said that, maybe some bird was tweetering it.

I live(d) in White House

Because I don't like Black. It is a color that does not shine, I like to shine. And I don't like it is superior race.
There once was a black president, his name Barrack o'Barman. He had no hair. Hair grows out of head, which is filled with Brains. No Brains, no Hair. I said it all the time. Lots of work to correct his mistakes.
I have Hair, lots of Hair, beautiful Hair, the best Hair, because I have Brains, lots of Brains, beautiful Brains, the best Brains. Ever.
I don't like wind, because it blows away my Hair. Since I am a airhead, my Brains do the same. But I don't care, because I have Hair.

I also live in Black Tower

Yes, I have a very big house, in a tower. I call it The Trumpy Tower, but a better name is Black Tower. (Please don't tell the taxes.)
I live very high, high standard, because the higher you live, the deeper you can fall. Respect!

I love bankrupsee

Now learn from me, the best thief in the world. You do business, so you lose. I think, because that happens to me all the time. (Rien ne va plus.)
Then you go broke, and the other person simply pays for your losses. HA HA HA, very smart of me.

Bye Then

Next president, Joe Bye Then, will have a lot of work. All the things that I cannot finish, they will become his mistakes. So I can live happily ever after.
The old world order, I completely pulled down.
People talk about New World Order. Well, I was the one that finally created it. Hail Victory.

Bye then

He Joe, not welcome to your new home.
Maybe there is beer in the fridge, but you first gotta find it... After that, you wanna pee? Go find the toilets, I'm not here to show you where they are. I hope for you that your Democrat Dirt Wipers cleaned them thoroughly after I left, I had an amazing dinner last night.
Remember, I fucked in your bed yesterday. Don't forget me when you turn around at night.
I won the election, you stole it from me. So in fact it's still MY bed.
Bye bye, I'm going to play golf. You know, golfers all have a handicap. Yours will be that you will have to drag me around your leg, like an iron prison ball, for many years.
Enjoy (not)... Bye then...

Sorry, Melania

My humble appologies, most beautiful woman in the world, for:
- completely ignoring all values of our democracy and constitution,
- destroying the economy,
- severely damaging the fragile ecological system of our lovely planet,
- making our people more sick than you could ever imagine,
- destroying international relationships,
- fucking up trade deals,
- lowering my pants for every world leader that is more potent than me,
- cancelling Paris,
- lying about everything you can lie about,
- encouraging violence,
- humiliating lots and lots of good people,
- playing golf while I should have been president,
- making almost half of this country believe that all that is normal,
- giving our son a future in which he will always remain the man whose father was the worst president in the history of the United States,
- being such an arrogant prick,
- thinking only about me,
- fooling around,
- and all the other things you know about me, but which I won't confess here.

In case you hadn't noticed, this is caricature and freedom of speech.